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▲-152▼
I heard Mars has no atmosphere.
Could we create an atmosphere by dimming the lights and playing smooth jazz?
742 votes · ·
▲+386▼
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said "Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?" The other turned and shouted "Oh my god a talking muffin!"
2539 votes · ·
▲-1▼
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they are so good at it!
1 vote · ·
▲-592▼
What's a specimen?
An Italian astronaut!
1782 votes · ·
▲+4▼
What do you call a cow you've seen before?
Deja moo.
4 votes · ·
▲-1219▼
What smells worse than anchovies?
Anchovy bums!
1879 votes · ·
▲-665▼
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because its too far to walk!
3221 votes · ·
▲-303▼
How did Ebenezer Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of christmas passed!
2173 votes · ·
▲+1▼
Whats the difference between the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper?
Nothing, they both orbit Uranus wiping out Klingons!
1 vote · ·
▲-1▼
I can't take my dog to the park as all the ducks keep trying to bite him.
My fault for getting one that's pure bred...
1 vote · ·
▲-1028▼
Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?
It was driving down the road when it suddenly turned into a field!
3886 votes · ·
▲0▼
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
Zero.
2 votes · ·
▲+516▼
I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2598 votes · ·
▲+4▼
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it's full groan!
8 votes · ·
▲+2▼
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
2 votes · ·

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