507 of The Most Divisive Jokes on the Internet | Good Bad Jokes

▲+453▼
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
2091 votes · ·
▲+1192▼
And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life!"
But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.
2360 votes · ·
▲+697▼
What did Barack say to Michelle when he got down on one knee?
I don't wanna be Obama-self!
2151 votes · ·
▲+566▼
A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch.
He picks it up and throws it across the street. A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch. The snail looks up and says, "What the fuck was *that* all about!?"
2110 votes · ·
▲+138▼
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You check for fresh prince!
2026 votes · ·
▲+156▼
What kind of dinosaur has the biggest vocabulary?
A Thesaurus!
2014 votes · ·
▲-396▼
What did the ghost say to the bee?
Boo bee!
2046 votes · ·
▲-151▼
Why did Captain Kirk's wife have a turd on her head?
Because William Shatner!
1997 votes · ·
▲+993▼
Did you hear about that new movie called "Constipation"?
No? That's because it hasn't come out yet...
2219 votes · ·
▲+600▼
What did the perverted frog say?
"Rubbit"
2066 votes · ·
▲+350▼
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish!
2006 votes · ·
▲-356▼
What do you call a person in a tree with a briefcase?
A branch manager!
2007 votes · ·
▲+651▼
You hear the one about the three holes in the ground filled with water?
No? Well, well, well....
2079 votes · ·
▲+410▼
Who's the king of the classroom?
The Ruler!
2010 votes · ·
▲+213▼
What do you call Batman when he skips church?
Christian Bale!
1961 votes · ·

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