495 of The Most Divisive Jokes on the Internet | Good Bad Jokes

▲+450▼
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
2086 votes · ·
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And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life!"
But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.
2358 votes · ·
▲+695▼
What did Barack say to Michelle when he got down on one knee?
I don't wanna be Obama-self!
2149 votes · ·
▲+568▼
A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch.
He picks it up and throws it across the street. A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch. The snail looks up and says, "What the fuck was *that* all about!?"
2102 votes · ·
▲+137▼
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You check for fresh prince!
2025 votes · ·
▲+156▼
What kind of dinosaur has the biggest vocabulary?
A Thesaurus!
2014 votes · ·
▲-396▼
What did the ghost say to the bee?
Boo bee!
2044 votes · ·
▲-154▼
Why did Captain Kirk's wife have a turd on her head?
Because William Shatner!
1994 votes · ·
▲+991▼
Did you hear about that new movie called "Constipation"?
No? That's because it hasn't come out yet...
2217 votes · ·
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What do you call a person in a tree with a briefcase?
A branch manager!
2007 votes · ·
▲+348▼
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish!
2004 votes · ·
▲+649▼
You hear the one about the three holes in the ground filled with water?
No? Well, well, well....
2077 votes · ·
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What did the perverted frog say?
"Rubbit"
2055 votes · ·
▲+409▼
Who's the king of the classroom?
The Ruler!
2009 votes · ·
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What do you call Batman when he skips church?
Christian Bale!
1961 votes · ·

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