503 of The Most Divisive Jokes on the Internet | Good Bad Jokes

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What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
2009 votes · ·
▲-730▼
What does an elephant use for a tampon?
A sheep!
2078 votes · ·
▲-174▼
I witnessed an attempted murder earlier…
Luckily only one crow showed up!
1946 votes · ·
▲+912▼
Why does Piglet smell?
Because he plays with Pooh.
2134 votes · ·
▲+933▼
I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves!
2123 votes · ·
▲+614▼
What did one hat say to another?
You stay here, I'll go on a head!
1990 votes · ·
▲-472▼
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
1946 votes · ·
▲+159▼
What do you call a guy with no shins?
Toe-knee!
1891 votes · ·
▲+469▼
What did the shoes say to the pants?
SUP, BRITCHES!
1941 votes · ·
▲-600▼
What do you call a microbiologist in an orchestra?
A cell-ist!
1976 votes · ·
▲+580▼
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
1966 votes · ·
▲-403▼
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Can I get a ...... Martini?"
The bartender replies: "Why the big paws?"
1921 votes · ·
▲-148▼
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to hold the penis. I mean the ladder. One to hold the ladder.
1884 votes · ·
▲+450▼
What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A Private Tutor!
1928 votes · ·
▲+493▼
How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram!
1935 votes · ·

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