504 Most Voted On Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

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I'm not saying that cosmetic surgery cured my depression…
But it definitely put a smile on my face.
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What did the man say when he lost his truck?
Where's my truck?!
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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
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Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
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What kind of kebabs are eaten in libraries?
Shush Kebabs!
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Knock knock. Who's there? Jupiter. Jupiter who?
Jupiter hurry up and open this door!
1 vote · ·
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Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper?
He sold his soul to Santa!
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, it's not coming.
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Why was the constipated accountant fired?
He couldn't budget.
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What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
A stethoscope!
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All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together.
At first it's boring, then it's riveting.
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How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!
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Knock Knock.
Who's there? Tamara. Tamara who? Tamara we'll have turkey leftovers!
1 vote · ·
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An inebriated dwarf stumbles into a bar.
Dwarf: Hey, barkeep, a pint of beer pease. Bartender: Sorry mate, I cant serve you. Dwarf: Why not? Bartender: Because you're a little drunk!
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