495 Most Voted On Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Dam.
2628 votes · ·
▲+917▼
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You're too young to be smoking!
2623 votes · ·
▲-529▼
What did the astronaut's fiancée say when he proposed in open space?
I can't breathe!
2621 votes · ·
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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
2609 votes · ·
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Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge?
Tequila!!
2605 votes · ·
▲-916▼
Why did the cowboy buy a weiner dog?
To get along little doggy!
2598 votes · ·
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I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2596 votes · ·
▲+563▼
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. The Extra Testicle!
2571 votes · ·
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A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him: "You need to stop masturbating."
"Why?" the man asks. The doctor replies: "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
2551 votes · ·
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Two cows are standing in a field.
One cow says "MOOOOO!" The other cow says pretty much the same thing.
2537 votes · ·
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What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener!
2537 votes · ·
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Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said "Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?" The other turned and shouted "Oh my god a talking muffin!"
2536 votes · ·
▲+672▼
Jokes about menstruation just aren't funny.
Period.
2524 votes · ·
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Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares their dogs too much.
2521 votes · ·
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What do you call a donkey with a millon eyes and a millon legs?
A monster.
2520 votes · ·

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