371 of The Best Puns — Groan-Worthy and Proud | Good Bad Jokes

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What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
3062 votes · ·
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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile!
3330 votes · ·
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What did one hat say to another?
You stay here, I'll go on a head!
1989 votes · ·
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What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?
An investigator.
2724 votes · ·
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What did the perverted frog say?
"Rubbit"
2055 votes · ·
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What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
1964 votes · ·
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What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener!
2537 votes · ·
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What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. The Extra Testicle!
2571 votes · ·
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What did the overly excited gardner do when spring finally arrived?
He wet his plants!
1894 votes · ·
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Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands! (This joke never gets old.)
1357 votes · ·
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What do you call a computer that sings?
Adell!
2692 votes · ·
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Why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp?
Because she's probably thick and tired of it!
2295 votes · ·
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
3167 votes · ·
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I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2596 votes · ·
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A man walks into the doctor's office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his bum.
The doc takes one look and he says: "Jeeze, it looks like we have one hell of a problem here." The guy responds: "this is just the tip of the iceberg."
1882 votes · ·

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