382 of The Best Puns — Groan-Worthy and Proud | Good Bad Jokes

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A man goes into the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his bum.
The doctors described his condition as stable.
1827 votes · ·
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What did sushi A say to sushi B?
Wasa-b!
2736 votes · ·
▲+729▼
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
2427 votes · ·
▲+727▼
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
4507 votes · ·
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What do you call a psychic dwarf who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
2335 votes · ·
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My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1985 votes · ·
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Why do vampires believe everything you tell them?
Because they're suckers!
2252 votes · ·
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What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
2303 votes · ·
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Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
4577 votes · ·
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What did Barack say to Michelle when he got down on one knee?
I don't wanna be Obama-self!
2151 votes · ·
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How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents!
1821 votes · ·
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Why cant zoo animals take tests?
There are too many cheetahs!
3273 votes · ·
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Jokes about menstruation just aren't funny.
Period.
2527 votes · ·
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You hear the one about the three holes in the ground filled with water?
No? Well, well, well....
2079 votes · ·
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What's Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
2958 votes · ·

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Displaying Joke 46 – 60 of 382 in total