379 of The Best Puns — Groan-Worthy and Proud | Good Bad Jokes

▲+746▼
A man goes into the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his bum.
The doctors described his condition as stable.
1826 votes · ·
▲+736▼
What did sushi A say to sushi B?
Wasa-b!
2734 votes · ·
▲+728▼
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
2426 votes · ·
▲+727▼
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
4507 votes · ·
▲+715▼
What do you call a psychic dwarf who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
2333 votes · ·
▲+710▼
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1984 votes · ·
▲+709▼
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
2303 votes · ·
▲+708▼
Why do vampires believe everything you tell them?
Because they're suckers!
2251 votes · ·
▲+699▼
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
4575 votes · ·
▲+696▼
What did Barack say to Michelle when he got down on one knee?
I don't wanna be Obama-self!
2150 votes · ·
▲+685▼
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents!
1821 votes · ·
▲+680▼
Why cant zoo animals take tests?
There are too many cheetahs!
3271 votes · ·
▲+671▼
Jokes about menstruation just aren't funny.
Period.
2525 votes · ·
▲+651▼
You hear the one about the three holes in the ground filled with water?
No? Well, well, well....
2079 votes · ·
▲+645▼
What's Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
2957 votes · ·

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Displaying Joke 46 – 60 of 379 in total