314 of The Best Puns — Groan-Worthy and Proud | Good Bad Jokes

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Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
3406 votes · ·
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Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she kept running from the ball!
3406 votes · ·
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Why should you not write with a dull pencil?
Because it's pointless.
3073 votes · ·
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I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3000 votes · ·
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Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted!
2906 votes · ·
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Why do ghosts love elevators?
Because they lift their spirits!
3261 votes · ·
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What is a duck's favourite drug?
Quack!
2842 votes · ·
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And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life!"
But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.
2358 votes · ·
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Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your jeans!
3500 votes · ·
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How do you feel when there is no coffee?
Depresso.
2442 votes · ·
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What did the Lion King tell Simba when he was walking too slow?
Mufasa!
3910 votes · ·
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What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Cashew!
3326 votes · ·
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How do you catch a bra?
With a booby trap!
2451 votes · ·
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How did the frog die?
He Kermit suicide!
4113 votes · ·
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How many lives does a Nazi cat have?
Nien!
3368 votes · ·

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