379 of The Best Puns — Groan-Worthy and Proud | Good Bad Jokes

▲+507▼
A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2635 votes · ·
▲+494▼
I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1814 votes · ·
▲+494▼
What did Kim Jong Un say when his father died?
His korea is over!
1756 votes · ·
▲+494▼
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He PASTA away!
1898 votes · ·
▲+493▼
How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram!
1935 votes · ·
▲+484▼
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent!
3222 votes · ·
▲+481▼
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus
2111 votes · ·
▲+480▼
How do snails fight?
They slug it out!
1902 votes · ·
▲+480▼
Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
The baby, because she's a little bigger.
1890 votes · ·
▲+472▼
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
2124 votes · ·
▲+471▼
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto
2861 votes · ·
▲+469▼
What did the shoes say to the pants?
SUP, BRITCHES!
1941 votes · ·
▲+468▼
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
Attire!
1264 votes · ·
▲+461▼
A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish.
It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish.
1669 votes · ·
▲+453▼
What does a vegan zombie eat?
Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!!
1771 votes · ·

« Prev 1…567…26 Next »

Displaying Joke 76 – 90 of 379 in total