382 of The Best Puns — Groan-Worthy and Proud | Good Bad Jokes

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A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2637 votes · ·
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What did Kim Jong Un say when his father died?
His korea is over!
1757 votes · ·
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I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1814 votes · ·
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He PASTA away!
1898 votes · ·
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How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram!
1935 votes · ·
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent!
3222 votes · ·
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How do snails fight?
They slug it out!
1903 votes · ·
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What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus
2111 votes · ·
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Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
The baby, because she's a little bigger.
1891 votes · ·
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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto
2863 votes · ·
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What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
2125 votes · ·
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What did the shoes say to the pants?
SUP, BRITCHES!
1941 votes · ·
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What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
Attire!
1265 votes · ·
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A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish.
It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish.
1669 votes · ·
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What does a vegan zombie eat?
Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!!
1772 votes · ·

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