495 Top Rated Jokes — Voted Best by Our Readers | Good Bad Jokes

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Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac?
He lies awake at night and wonders if there really is a dog.
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, it's not coming.
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What do you call a magician dog?
A labracadabador!
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What do you call flat Mountain Dew?
Plateau Dew!
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Knock knock. Who's there? Jupiter. Jupiter who?
Jupiter hurry up and open this door!
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Why was the constipated accountant fired?
He couldn't budget.
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What’s a dog’s favorite band?
Styx!
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Knock knock.
Who's there?Art.Art who?
R2-D2, of course!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
It wasn't. Numbers aren't sentient and can't feel fear.
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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil!
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What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine!
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Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a "piece of cake!"
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Why did the dad joke cross the road?
To get to the other sigh.
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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
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Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs?
From Eggplants!
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