52 Food & Drink Jokes to Chew On

• ▲-867▼

  What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

  A carrot!

  3465 votes · Copy

• ▲+10▼

  What did the teacher do with the student's cheese report?

  She "grated" it!

  2142 votes · Copy

• ▲+184▼

  What does Miley Cyrus eat on Thanksgiving?

  Twerkey!

  2232 votes · Copy

• ▲+161▼

  What does a nosey pepper do?

  It gets jalapeño business!

  2419 votes · Copy

• ▲-45▼

  What did one bean say to the other bean?

  How you bean?

  3487 votes · Copy

• ▲+360▼

  What's the difference between a piano and a fish?

  You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish!

  2118 votes · Copy

• ▲+870▼

  What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

  Breathe dammit, BREATHE!

  2512 votes · Copy

• ▲+1136▼

  How do you feel when there is no coffee?

  Depresso.

  2442 votes · Copy

• ▲-499▼

  What's green and sings?

  Elvis Parsley!

  2009 votes · Copy

• ▲+27▼

  What didn't the melons get married?

  Because they cantaloupe!

  2225 votes · Copy

• ▲-973▼

  I slept with a woman who cooked a ton of pasta last night.

  She gave me carbs!

  2003 votes · Copy

• ▲-1524▼

  Knock Knock.

  Who's there? Soup. Soup who? Superman!

  2704 votes · Copy

• ▲+773▼

  Two bananas are lying on a riverbank when a turd goes floating by.

  The turd yells to the bananas, "hey guys, come on in, the water feels great!" One banana looks at the other banana and says, "do you believe that shit?"

  2197 votes · Copy

• ▲+508▼

  A man walks into the doctor's office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his bum.

  The doc takes one look and he says: "Jeeze, it looks like we have one hell of a problem here." The guy responds: "this is just the tip of the iceberg."

  1882 votes · Copy

• ▲-235▼

  What do you call an empty jar of cheese whiz?

  Cheese Was!

  1739 votes · Copy