333 Fully Groan Puns So Bad They're Good

▲+753▼
What do you call two guys from Mexico playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
1969 votes ·
▲+919▼
The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
2287 votes ·
▲+424▼
Why did the cyclops close his school?
Because he only had one pupil!
1831 votes ·
▲+191▼
My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.
1710 votes ·
▲+383▼
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said "Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?" The other turned and shouted "Oh my god a talking muffin!"
2536 votes ·
▲-2078▼
A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother...
3604 votes ·
▲+460▼
A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish.
It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish.
1668 votes ·
▲+568▼
A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch.
He picks it up and throws it across the street. A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch. The snail looks up and says, "What the fuck was *that* all about!?"
2102 votes ·
▲+143▼
A man went to the zoo.
All they had to exhibit was a dog. It was a shih tzu.
3083 votes ·
▲-402▼
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Can I get a ...... Martini?"
The bartender replies: "Why the big paws?"
1920 votes ·
▲+991▼
Did you hear about that new movie called "Constipation"?
No? That's because it hasn't come out yet...
2217 votes ·
▲+684▼
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents!
1820 votes ·
▲+187▼
How did Hitler tie his shoes?
In little nazis
2347 votes ·
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Knock knock.
Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? ಠ_ಠ 💩
0 votes ·
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How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to hold the penis. I mean the ladder. One to hold the ladder.
1884 votes ·

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