333 Fully Groan Puns So Bad They're Good

• ▲+710▼

  What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?

  It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!

  2302 votes · Copy

• ▲+911▼

  Helen Keller walks into a bar...

  then a chair, then the wall.

  2847 votes · Copy

• ▲+649▼

  You hear the one about the three holes in the ground filled with water?

  No? Well, well, well....

  2077 votes · Copy

• ▲+480▼

  Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?

  The baby, because she's a little bigger.

  1888 votes · Copy

• ▲+773▼

  Two bananas are lying on a riverbank when a turd goes floating by.

  The turd yells to the bananas, "hey guys, come on in, the water feels great!" One banana looks at the other banana and says, "do you believe that shit?"

  2197 votes · Copy

• ▲+89▼

  What did the Leper tell the prostitute?

  Keep the Tip!

  1773 votes · Copy

• ▲+606▼

  What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?

  An investigator.

  2724 votes · Copy

• ▲+508▼

  A man walks into the doctor's office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his bum.

  The doc takes one look and he says: "Jeeze, it looks like we have one hell of a problem here." The guy responds: "this is just the tip of the iceberg."

  1882 votes · Copy

• ▲+346▼

  I bought a ceiling fan the other day.

  Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying "Ooh, I love how smooth it is!"

  1872 votes · Copy

• ▲-235▼

  What do you call an empty jar of cheese whiz?

  Cheese Was!

  1739 votes · Copy

• ▲-772▼

  What's E.T. short for?

  Because he's only got little legs!

  2674 votes · Copy

• ▲+1614▼

  My grandad has the heart of a lion…

  …and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

  2704 votes · Copy

• ▲-474▼

  What did Dr. Dre say when 50 cent gave him a sweater?

  "Gee, you knit?"

  1718 votes · Copy

• ▲+805▼

  How does Moses make his tea?

  Hebrews it!

  2707 votes · Copy

• ▲+517▼

  What do you call a fake noodle?

  An impasta!

  3167 votes · Copy