395 Clean Jokes — Safe for Any Crowd | Good Bad Jokes

▲+2709▼
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
5247 votes · ·
▲+2467▼
What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
The guardians of the galaxy!
5917 votes · ·
▲+2442▼
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4457 votes · ·
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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3894 votes · ·
▲+2111▼
What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time!
4461 votes · ·
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Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize!
4086 votes · ·
▲+1790▼
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
3738 votes · ·
▲+1746▼
Knock knock.
Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
3410 votes · ·
▲+1736▼
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.
3562 votes · ·
▲+1559▼
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!
3685 votes · ·
▲+1503▼
What's the difference between ignorance and Apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
3538 votes · ·
▲+1500▼
Does anyone need an ark?
I Noah guy.
3084 votes · ·
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Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
3408 votes · ·
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Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she kept running from the ball!
3411 votes · ·
▲+1389▼
Why should you not write with a dull pencil?
Because it's pointless.
3077 votes · ·

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