397 Clean Jokes — Safe for Any Crowd | Good Bad Jokes

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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
5250 votes · ·
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
The guardians of the galaxy!
5919 votes · ·
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4460 votes · ·
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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3895 votes · ·
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time!
4462 votes · ·
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Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize!
4088 votes · ·
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Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
3738 votes · ·
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Knock knock.
Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
3410 votes · ·
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What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.
3563 votes · ·
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How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!
3686 votes · ·
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What's the difference between ignorance and Apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
3538 votes · ·
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Does anyone need an ark?
I Noah guy.
3084 votes · ·
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Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
3409 votes · ·
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Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she kept running from the ball!
3412 votes · ·
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Why should you not write with a dull pencil?
Because it's pointless.
3079 votes · ·

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