346 Clean Jokes — Safe for Any Crowd | Good Bad Jokes

▲+517▼
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
3167 votes · ·
▲+514▼
I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2596 votes · ·
▲+505▼
A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2633 votes · ·
▲+492▼
I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1812 votes · ·
▲+491▼
How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram!
1933 votes · ·
▲+485▼
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent!
3221 votes · ·
▲+480▼
Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
The baby, because she's a little bigger.
1888 votes · ·
▲+479▼
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus
2109 votes · ·
▲+478▼
How do snails fight?
They slug it out!
1898 votes · ·
▲+471▼
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
2123 votes · ·
▲+469▼
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto
2859 votes · ·
▲+467▼
What did the shoes say to the pants?
SUP, BRITCHES!
1939 votes · ·
▲+466▼
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
Attire!
1262 votes · ·
▲+450▼
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
2086 votes · ·
▲+448▼
What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A Private Tutor!
1926 votes · ·

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