398 Clean Jokes — Safe for Any Crowd | Good Bad Jokes

▲+1358▼
What do we want?
LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES! When do we want them? NNNEEEEEOOOOOWWWwwwwww…
3494 votes · ·
▲+1300▼
I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3006 votes · ·
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Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted!
2912 votes · ·
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And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life!"
But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.
2361 votes · ·
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Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your jeans!
3506 votes · ·
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How do you feel when there is no coffee?
Depresso.
2447 votes · ·
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What did the Lion King tell Simba when he was walking too slow?
Mufasa!
3915 votes · ·
▲+1101▼
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Cashew!
3329 votes · ·
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Knock knock.
Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
3801 votes · ·
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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Dam.
2633 votes · ·
▲+937▼
I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves!
2127 votes · ·
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What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds!
3379 votes · ·
▲+920▼
The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
2292 votes · ·
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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You're too young to be smoking!
2625 votes · ·
▲+912▼
Why does Piglet smell?
Because he plays with Pooh.
2142 votes · ·

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