508 Most Voted On Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

▲-976▼
I slept with a woman who cooked a ton of pasta last night.
She gave me carbs!
2010 votes · ·
▲-499▼
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
2009 votes · ·
▲-356▼
What do you call a person in a tree with a briefcase?
A branch manager!
2007 votes · ·
▲+350▼
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish!
2006 votes · ·
▲-151▼
Why did Captain Kirk's wife have a turd on her head?
Because William Shatner!
1997 votes · ·
▲+616▼
What did one hat say to another?
You stay here, I'll go on a head!
1992 votes · ·
▲+713▼
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1987 votes · ·
▲-599▼
What do you call a microbiologist in an orchestra?
A cell-ist!
1977 votes · ·
▲+756▼
What do you call two guys from Mexico playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
1976 votes · ·
▲+583▼
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
1969 votes · ·
▲+213▼
What do you call Batman when he skips church?
Christian Bale!
1961 votes · ·
▲-472▼
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
1946 votes · ·
▲-174▼
I witnessed an attempted murder earlier…
Luckily only one crow showed up!
1946 votes · ·
▲+469▼
What did the shoes say to the pants?
SUP, BRITCHES!
1941 votes · ·
▲+493▼
How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram!
1935 votes · ·

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