495 Most Voted On Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

▲+448▼
What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A Private Tutor!
1926 votes · ·
▲-402▼
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Can I get a ...... Martini?"
The bartender replies: "Why the big paws?"
1920 votes · ·
▲+748▼
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
1908 votes · ·
▲+478▼
How do snails fight?
They slug it out!
1898 votes · ·
▲+496▼
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He PASTA away!
1896 votes · ·
▲+550▼
What did the overly excited gardner do when spring finally arrived?
He wet his plants!
1894 votes · ·
▲+158▼
What do you call a guy with no shins?
Toe-knee!
1890 votes · ·
▲+480▼
Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
The baby, because she's a little bigger.
1888 votes · ·
▲-148▼
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to hold the penis. I mean the ladder. One to hold the ladder.
1884 votes · ·
▲+508▼
A man walks into the doctor's office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his bum.
The doc takes one look and he says: "Jeeze, it looks like we have one hell of a problem here." The guy responds: "this is just the tip of the iceberg."
1882 votes · ·
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What smells worse than anchovies?
Anchovy bums!
1878 votes · ·
▲-216▼
Where does Frosty keep his cash?
In the snow banks!
1878 votes · ·
▲+346▼
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying "Ooh, I love how smooth it is!"
1872 votes · ·
▲+446▼
What do clouds wear under their shorts?
Thunderpants
1834 votes · ·
▲+424▼
Why did the cyclops close his school?
Because he only had one pupil!
1831 votes · ·

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