314 of The Best Puns — Groan-Worthy and Proud | Good Bad Jokes

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I'm not worried about the moon getting too full
It's just a phase!
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
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Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep ends!
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I've got a great joke about construction…
but I'm still working on it!
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Knock knock.
Whos there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes Sean Connery!
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What are caterpillars afraid of?
Dogerpillers!
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What did the fried rice say to the shrimp?
Don't wok away from me!
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What do you call a large animal from Africa that lets its hair grow?
A hippy-potamus!
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What do you call a magician dog?
A labracadabador!
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What do you call a skunk with a laser blaster?
Pepe le pew pew pew! (Sorry this joke stinks.)
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What do you call a wizard that has run out of spells?
A was-ard!
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What do you call someone who gets mad when they dont have any bread?
Lack toast intolerant!
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What do you call twins who live together?
Womb-mates!
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What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi!
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What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine!
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