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▲+1153▼
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your jeans!
3501 votes · ·
▲+2▼
What did one twin say to the other?
There's not enough womb in here for the two of us!
2734 votes · ·
▲-1727▼
Who told the gorilla that he couldn't go to the ballet?
Just the people who are in charge of that decision.
3247 votes · ·
▲-356▼
What do you call a person in a tree with a briefcase?
A branch manager!
2007 votes · ·
▲+939▼
What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Dam.
2629 votes · ·
▲0▼
What do you call someone who gets mad when they dont have any bread?
Lack toast intolerant!
0 votes · ·
▲0▼
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist go to the bathroom?
Because the 'P' is silent!
0 votes · ·
▲+1614▼
My grandad has the heart of a lion…
…and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
2708 votes · ·
▲0▼
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
0 votes · ·
▲-973▼
I slept with a woman who cooked a ton of pasta last night.
She gave me carbs!
2003 votes · ·
▲+516▼
I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!
2598 votes · ·
▲0▼
What does a subatomic duck say?
Quark Quark!
0 votes · ·
▲-1▼
Knock Knock.
Who's there? Tamara. Tamara who? Tamara we'll have turkey leftovers!
1 vote · ·
▲0▼
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
0 votes · ·
▲+449▼
What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A Private Tutor!
1927 votes · ·

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