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▲+569▼
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener!
2537 votes · ·
▲-645▼
What's the difference between a chick pea and a potato?
You wouldn't pay to have a potato on you!
3005 votes · ·
▲+2▼
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time…
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
2 votes · ·
▲+492▼
I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1812 votes · ·
▲+137▼
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You check for fresh prince!
2025 votes · ·
▲+478▼
How do snails fight?
They slug it out!
1898 votes · ·
▲+1▼
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo".
1 vote · ·
▲0▼
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
It wasn't. Numbers aren't sentient and can't feel fear.
0 votes · ·
▲0▼
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan!
0 votes · ·
▲+450▼
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
2086 votes · ·
▲-973▼
I slept with a woman who cooked a ton of pasta last night.
She gave me carbs!
2003 votes · ·
▲+697▼
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
4573 votes · ·
▲0▼
Why should you always knock before opening the refrigerator?
Because there might be an Italian dressing!
0 votes · ·
▲-383▼
What's Helen Keller's favourite colour?
Velcro.
2279 votes · ·
▲+122▼
How do you make a clown cry?
You kill his family.
3400 votes · ·

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