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So my wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but it turns out she just wanted to do laundry.
So I folded.
1 vote · ·
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What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi!
2 votes · ·
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What does a subatomic duck say?
Quark Quark!
1 vote · ·
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Why are dogs bad at dancing?
They have two left feet!
2 votes · ·
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I'm not saying that cosmetic surgery cured my depression…
But it definitely put a smile on my face.
1 vote · ·
▲+243▼
Why did the cookie cry?
Because his mother was a wafer so long!
1761 votes · ·
▲0▼
Knock knock.
Who's there?Hatch.Hatch who?
Gesundheit!
0 votes · ·
▲0▼
How many Blue Whales live in the ocean?
All of them!
10 votes · ·
▲+6▼
Poop jokes aren't my favorite kind of dad jokes...
But they are a solid number two!
6 votes · ·
▲0▼
Knock knock.
Who's there?Panther.Panther who?
Panther no panth, I'm going thwimming!
0 votes · ·
▲+479▼
Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
The baby, because she's a little bigger.
1891 votes · ·
▲+697▼
What did Barack say to Michelle when he got down on one knee?
I don't wanna be Obama-self!
2151 votes · ·
▲+738▼
What did sushi A say to sushi B?
Wasa-b!
2736 votes · ·
▲+2▼
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
There's one less drunk at the wake!
4 votes · ·
▲-402▼
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Can I get a ...... Martini?"
The bartender replies: "Why the big paws?"
1922 votes · ·

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