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What is the difference between three and two?
One!
1812 votes · ·
▲+25▼
Everyone asks where's Waldo…
Nobody ever asks *how's* Waldo.
1337 votes · ·
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What do you call an Irishman who bounces off walls?
Rick O'Shea!
1 vote · ·
▲+466▼
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
Attire!
1262 votes · ·
▲+178▼
I might have an open casket funeral…
Remains to be seen.
1588 votes · ·
▲+426▼
Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!"
1170 votes · ·
▲0▼
How can you tell how heavy a chili pepper is?
You put it on a scale and give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
2 votes · ·
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A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
0 votes · ·
▲+59▼
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
4427 votes · ·
▲+806▼
How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it!
2708 votes · ·
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What do you call a large animal from Africa that lets its hair grow?
A hippy-potamus!
0 votes · ·
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A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, "Is this stool taken?"
0 votes · ·
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I was walking my dog through a graveyard this morning and waved at the groundskeeper. "Morning!" he called.
"No mate", I replied. "Just walking the dog."
0 votes · ·
▲+383▼
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said "Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?" The other turned and shouted "Oh my god a talking muffin!"
2536 votes · ·
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A Mobius strip sits down at a bar, looking miserable. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
And the Mobius strip says, "Where do I start?"
0 votes · ·

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